It's been so long i last posted . As nothing much happen, just only slacking. Hahah! like so finally i'm officially 16 soon! :D 2more days! But really sad to say, my candyfloss wasn't in singapore! :( SIGH. Will miss her alot mans! But no worries, i'll still have my sisters &brothers to celebrate with me. Not forgetting, my boyfriend too! :D Thinking back, last year how i celebrate my birthday. Like fun only lo, go sentosa in the morning &Night go watch movie! :D I guess, i miss those times. O: There's one feeling, i felt abit sad about it. I've been drifting alot away from Priscillia &sherry. :( Maybe it's because, we've been hanging around with different groups of people. But say real one, i really do miss them alot! Since so long i last meet them :( &Superman, were to remember my birthday is coming! Promise to go out gaigai with her soon, out for dating man! :D HAHAH! I'm so looking forward to be 16years old, imagin i'm taking my own ic to club! Happening leh, don't need remember poeple's ic no. :D Lol! &I'm going for clubbing soon, guess 16nov? Alright, stop all crappings. &I've been dota-ing this few weeks, seems like addicted leh. :D Alright, really hope someone plan something for my birthday? This year like no one plan lo :( Boring! I'll post soon, GOODBYE! :D

*Last year memories are always kept. Benjamin told me, friends comes &goes. I guess, i should take it easy. :)

Hello people , i'm back to post! :D I've neglected my blog for long . As for these days , i've been dota almost everyday at limbang . HAHAH! Bobian , no job yet . Only can slack my life like this . I'm really bored now ;( Boyfriend , is outside slacking with his friends . Oh mens , i miss him! :D Hahah! Actually wanted to go sentosa tmr with Sherry , Priscillia &co . But didn't go alr , i'm really broke these days . Don't feel like going somewhere so far . So sorry , my dearests! O: &I'm like so miss my baby &Laogong lo! O: I promise to meet up soon , with you guys okay! :D Celeste &Xiner haven been my daily needs . Hahah! :D Only the three of us , always meeting up together . What about my Jiazhen &gracie? O: They'll boyfriend girl lo . SO MISS THEM! :( Hope to meetup soon! <3 Alright , i really got nothing much to post . Holidays are really boring lo! O: I'll be back posting soon! BYEBYEBYEBYE! :D

Alright , i hasn't been updating my blog for long . Due to my lazyness , hahah! I'm back in action! :D This few days nothing much happen , just that 終極三國 , i watched till episode33 alr , waiting for 34 to upload . The show rocks to the max only! \m/ HAHAHA! I'm so addict to it only , even intend to watch all over agains . I know i'm crazy , and boyfriend will kill me cause i want to watch the show . Everytime i watch the show , i'll always very lack talking to him . HAHAH! Alright , i has been sleeping super longg yesterday as the day before i didn't sleep . Yesterday night , 11plus i slept till today 3plus or 4plus? Power pack lo :D Wakeup , prepare and went out around 8pm . Went to limbang , dota with Celeste &Xiner . Slack awhile , then went home . Reach home around 11plus? :D I'm so good girl now adays , went home early only . :) &Sad to say , i'm going to malaysia this friday night! O: Ewww , means i'll be missing my sisters alot! O: &Also not forgetting , my dearest boyfriend!♥ I know he'll miss me too! :D HAHAH! Ohyah , the most important thing i forget to say . I &Birdy together alr , like finally . After so many misunderstand , now we finally together . I really hope thing would go better for us . No quarrels or anything :) Hope we could love each other more &more . Lastly , i miss him alot lahs! O: He's sleeping alr , hopes he sleep well :) Alright , i shall sleep early toos . Cause nothing to do , plus tmr i'm going bugis with Celeste &Xiner! :D BYEBYEBYEBYE!

I'm back to post! :) It's 1am plus now . &I'm home , like early one lo . But i promise mum to be home early today . So bored , birdy is sleeping alr . As he's tired :) Lol . I'm going to wait for Celeste &Dota . Just now , went to Limbang dota . HAHAH! &I miss my Jiazhen , Gracie , Kailin &Meimei alot . It has been so long , i last see them . O: Now , Jiazhen &Gracie is always busying with their boyfriends . Accept for Celeste , Xiner &Me . Always meetup together . HAHAH! Nlevels are over , evn the most stress subject for me also finish . Hahah! I'm going to find job soon . I don't want rot at home lehs :D Everything is fine for me &Birdy , i hope things will be better for now ? :) I don't want any misunderstand nor quarrels alr . I want a very smooth &Happy relationship for us :) I'm going to bathe now , just finish eating . &I'm going to watch 終極三國! Like nice only lahs! &I'll try to sleep early today, i maybe meeting Celia tmr to timah :) Since so long , i see my superman! :D Everything is back to normal now :) I only scared i can't wakeup . HAHAH! Cause i'm a owl, always sleep very late &Wokeup only at evening . HAHAHA! I just wanted to share something , I'M VERY HAPPY &SATISFIED now! :) I got back my Birdy &Superman :) Hahah! Okay lah , stop all crappings . I'll post next time with photos! BYEBYEBYEBYE! :)

Nlevels are really over now , everything i could do now . Club , drink , play , night lifes , have lots of fun . But i wasn't happy at all . I know , i'll be better soon , be strong . I came to a point , no guys can be trust . Really , i'm scared of it :( There's nothing much i could ask you not to leave , ask you to love me back . It's fated ..

After exam , i knew so much things i shouldn't know :( &I guess it's time for me to give up and let you go . I don't want you to lie to yourself , really pointless . Action speaks louder then words . You said you love me , but what i see wasn't at all . Even Celeste told me to give up , she told me o much things about you and her . I pretend i'm strong , really strong . But my heart sinks alot , it's bleeding . I'm crying deep down my heart :( I told myself , i deserve this . When you still love me so much , i choose to let go . But now , i want you back but it's too late . I'm nolonger in your heart anymore . At first i suspect you have feelings for her alr . But i keep tell myself to believe you , you won't leave me alone . But now , all i got was this . Knowing you alr love her , yet i'm still lying to myself . Why? I just couldn't face the fact :( Forget it . Since it's this way , i shall respect you . Nomatter what , i'm going to tell you . I'll be happy , happy that you find your love ones . I'm not going to love anyone anymore . I thought you're really different from other guys , but you wasn't . I've totally given up , no love could be trust really . Sigh , there's so much i couldn't bear to let go . But i've to . I promise not to cry infont of people , i promise i won't forget you . That's the limit i could do . I hope , there's one day i could just forget everything . Like we're in the past , good friends :') Just take good care of yourself . This time , i choose to let go first . Because , i don't want to lie to myself you still love me . I don't want to be sad like the past anymore :( I don't want , i'm sorry . Maybe it's really all fated , you're fated that your feelings faded .. Goodbye my love <3 I thought 8oct , will be the happiest day we could have . But it didn't , it came out to be the end of us . Just remember this , nomatter what . You're happy , i'll be happy too . Don't feel guilty or what , i'll be fine .. :')

Yesterday , i slept at 4am plus . O: Then wakeup at 10am plus in the morning . How happening , my eye bags are very very dark &Heavy now :( What to do , cann't avoid toos . Meet Xiner , Meiling &Pingkoon at 145 . They eat breakfast , but i didn't . Then to cc , smoke &Slack . To Meiling house , then awhile went to Blk6 meet gracie! :D Then slack awhile , Pingkoon came . Finally go for school lah him , got exam still don't go -.- &Then went back school . Late for exam . O: Sean's fault , want smoke lo :( After paper , went to Jiazhen's house . At there see them play . I agreed , my mood wasn't good this few days . Carrying a sad face only . O: But no on , i'm going to smile whenever i go :) Took 307 bus , saw Junkai &co . Back home , watch 終極三國 . Like funneh only :D Then awhile more , prepared . Went to Limbang meet up with Celeste &Xiner . Like so long never meet Celeste , i miss my candyfloss alot! :D See them dota awhile , went to mac eat . Finally ate my meal of the day . I couldn't force myself in the burger . Only ate fries :) Don't know what's happening toos . HAHAHA! Then slack awhile , went home around 9plus :) Thanks Jiahao kor for buying the thing for me . I know , he's always the one who dote &Worry for me alot . Don't worry kor , i won't create trouble alr &Guaiguai wait for your probation end . Then lets enjoy your late night lifestyle! :D Alrights , stop my craps . I'm going to watch 終極三國 now! BYEBYEBYEBYE! :D

This is how much i love my mickey! <3

This will be the last time , i'm going to sad about this subject . I told myself to be strong , told myself not to love you too much . Told myself not to cry anymore . Sometimes , things lose alr really couldn't find back . So from now on , Wanling going to be strong very strong controlling my emotions . I'm not going to let my dearest beside me , worry for me . Smile will always be on my face :) Even how sad or down am i , i'm going to face it toos . I don't want to be stupid , idiot , or whatever shit like the past anymore . Holding on something that's difficult to gain back . Since you've choose not to trust me . You choose to misunderstand me , there's nothing much i could do . I'll still love you like the past i used to be , but slowly wait for the past you to come back toos . I promise i'll be strong , smile everyday . No getting my emotions to get control over me :) Cause i know , telling anyone also no use . Everybody is always stand at yourside &think for you . No one ever thought for me . Forget it , i shall tell my mickey then! :D HAHAH!

I'm back to post , my computer got problem last few days . &Thanks to Wenhan for fix my computer , it's alright now :) &I'm finally back to post . Nothing much , having Nlevel today , Science &EBS paper . Science , think flunk alr ? &I did something silly , there's one question about gap of MRT. How silly can i be , i took almost 5mins to do the question . Because , unknownly i link the gap till lots of thinks . Especially , thinking why do you &Me have the gap inbetween . How silly right , i told Meiling &co they laugh at me . I'm stupid only! -.- EBS , like still can make it . :) I'm bored now , &Feeling down :( I always told myself not to think too much , but things really came out the way i thought . O: What to do ? Only can put on a fakesmile . Maybe i deserve it myself ..

This i mine &Yours drawings .. I'll always remember :')

I don't know why i'm thinking this way , but it really came out the way i thought .. You know what , i'm sad . But what can i do ? Feelings like wasn't same anymore . No more the close feelings , no more the way you pampered me . I'm still alone , yes at the starting point . Everything go back like the past . Yes , i should give us more time . But i'm really not feeling happy at all :( Sorry for casing you jealous . I know , you've tried not to jealous . But i know , it's normal for people to jealous . Even myself too , i did jealous too . But i only know , there's nothing much i can ask for . Only time , hope time heal the both of us . I want to go back like the past , find back those feelings we once had . But isit possible ? O: Sometimes , once something is lost you'll never find back . Just like feelings . Won't we find back those feelings ? :( I want it back seriously . I know , i'm the one causing all this problem . I know i'll regret making that decision to leave you . But i still did it . Maybe i'm selfish , not to you only but myself too . I'm selfish not to love you much , not to understand you . Choose to live in the past nightmare . But what can i do ? I'm scared , that's the only thing i could say .. Am i asking too much from you ? :( I guess so . Everything is always i decide . I'm really afraid making decision alr , i don't wish too . I'm always thinking , always having so much thoughts . How could i stop those thinkings , i don't want to think too . I want to live happily with my life , without thinking too much . But i really couldn't :( I'm sorry . Reason is because i'm scared you might leave one day . Sigh .. Leave it unknownly , i don't wish to think much . Nlevel is here , yet even i'm doing my question also think about it . Hais , what the hell i'm thinking O: I add on another subject to myself , &I've flunk it . &It's love , like what i told them . This subject confirm fail , people take 6subject only . I'm taking 7subject , &I'm always stressing on this subject . LOL! I must be mad lah . Forget it , i don't want to think alr . Go watch my 終極三國 sua . Think much also no use :( BYEBYEBYEBYE! I'm having maths paper tmr , really wish me goodluck uh!

I guess , it's really fated .. Really fated , you won't be the one i hope you're alr . Things changes , feelings changed .. Just like yours .. Everything is changing , but i can say is mine feelings didn't change . I told myself , not to get jealous or what even i know you did . Cause you once told me before you won't msg any other girls . I told myself this , nomatter who you msg . If i still believe in our love , i've to believe you won't change your love for me . I told myself if you were to meet other girls , i would say it's just normal friend meeting up . I've to believe your love won't change for me . So , the main point . Do you ever believed me ? Like what you said . I Happily msg others , i happily meet others for breakfast , i happily talk with others on phone , i happily let people send me home . Isit happy i know myself . When i heard the ringtone that only rings when you text/call me , i'm happier then any others ringtone that rings . YOU KNOW? YOU DON'T. I meet others for breakfast , do you think i'll be more happier if the two of us eating mac together ? DO YOU KNOW? YOU DON'T KNOW. You think i'll be happier if i'm talking on phone with others , then with you ? DO YOU KNOW? YOU DON'T KNOW. You think , i'm happier that someone send me home when i'm drunk , wasn't you? DO YOU KNOW? YOU DON'T KNOW! It's all your thinkings only , you &Your thinkings . What about me ? You ever think for me ? No . You didn't know what i'm thinking , and you assume that everything you think was right . Forget it , no point explaining . I'm really tired :(

I'm back to post , a short one .  As i'm going out soon , to eat dinner with Dickson dad &Mummy . Family gathering hor! :D Yesterday , jitao didn't sleep lo . Went out of house around 5am plus . Meet Pingkoon at blk9 downstair . Then to temple . Wait for Xiner , Celeste , Sean , Junjie &Wilson come . Eat breakfast at 143 :) Afterthat , went to blk6 smoke . Xiner went to school . Around 8plus , went back to Celeste house . Slept around 9plus . Wokeup 3pm plus . :) Called Xiner , went to meet her &co at blk6 . Slacking agains , then play cards . Lose one must hit hand . Elson &Ashley ones like pain only . But i know Yongxin last hit most rabaks . O: Went home around 6plus . Watch 終極三國! Like funneh only :D I'm going to prepare now , very soon meeting Dad &Mum for dinner . &Then wait for my dearests to come , drinking tonight again :D HAHAH! I want to blackout , i want myself to pour out everything . Just tonight only , i'm really tired . I want to be back the real me . I've been acting strong too much , really tired . :') Alright , stop my crap . I'm going to prepare now . BYEBYEBYEBYE! :)

Didn't attend school today agains . Yesterday , play dota with Sean &Celeste till midnight too . catch a 3hour sleep , then wokeup . Went to teckwhye mac , meet with Celeste , Pingkoon , Elson &co . While waiting for Xiner to come , smoke :) Then back to mac , eat breakfast . After breakfast , went to cc play ball . Till 9plus ? went to Celeste house , fallen asleep while Celeste dota . I really coma in Celeste house till 5pm plus . I'm lack of sleep this few days. O: After wakeup , see celeste play dota with yongxin awhile . Went home , prepared &Went to cc . Meet with Junjie , zhijie &Guo zhong . &Zhijie did something irritating okay! -.- Xiner reached , went to 145 eat . Everybody ordered fried rice to eat &coke for drinks . HAHAH! Celeste reached too . After eating , went to mac study awhile . Then went home around 11plus . Was abit tired , but i waited for Celeste to dota . After 2round of dota , i don't want play alr . Now , i'm abit tired but don't wish to sleep . Don't know should sleep not. O: OHYAH , i remembered i haven create my friendster . I shall go create now :) HAHAHA! Just now was really dulans , i really don't know how to play dota what . No one wants to teach me . Forget it , no point playing toos . Only giving them burden . Rather i don't play , when benjamin &Wilson teach me better then say bahs . Alright , shall post till here . I'm going to create friendster :) BYEBYEBYEBYE!

Somehow, things won't be like past anymore ..

Yesterday, reach home at 11plus . Study at tw mac, with Xiner, Junjie, celeste, gracie, jurrel and guozhong . Then they went to 145 eat dinner, while i go gracie house downstair to smoke with her :) She accompany me walk home . Reached home, dota with Celeste till 2am i guess . Sean came my house to take one cigg from me . Then teach me how to dota toos :) Hahah! Couldn't slept till around 2:30plus ? Wokeup at 5:30am, it means i only have 3hours of sleep . Went to meet Pingkoon for breakfast . Went to blk6, smoke with Meiling . Then headed to school, meet Priscillia at panjang bustop then bus to school together . We're late . Hahah! Reached school, lots of problems . I'm so tired of it, all stupid case . Seriously, i don't get it . It's alr over, no point saying out right? I thought i did say that day , sua means sua? Why now adays people so childish . Really freaking lame uh, everything started from your ownself . You'll choose not to let the matter rest . Now like everything blame on me for fighting with you ? HELLO, PLEASE GROW UP LEH! -.- If seriously, you'll still not happy . Want find backup or whatever, come straight to my face tell me. Don't have to say it behind of me . Come on lah, don't be childish man . Went back class after dm talk to me . I'm so tired lah , when reached class . Do last year Nlevel maths paper, my eyes was like cannot make it alr . Yet i force myself to do finish before sleeping . Like not bad uh. :D Got 35/50 , i very happy hor. After school, cab home with Sitong . Now, i'm so freaking tired . Yet i don't wish to let myself to rest . Let it be, tired me to death i most happy! HAHAHA! :D Alright, i'm going to prepare now &go tw for study . BYEBYEBYEBYE! :)

-I'm back from study . Guess what , this is the second time i felt like crying :( This time , i can't bear with it . My tears roll down while i'm chatting with Meiling . Thanks Meiling &Benjamin for being there . I didn't cry out , i don't want everybody know i cried . My makeup nearly rabaks too . O: Sigh . I don't know why , i wasn't that strong as i thought . I thought , i could over come you . I thought , it won't be hurting . But it still , very painful hurtings :( Sorry , i fail to overcome it . I really need more time . Or maybe i couldn't let go too . Hais . I went back mac and continue studying , i force myself to do all the quetions . I force myself to put on a fake smile . Cause i know , i don't want anybody to know i'm really down . I deserve all this myself , cause i choose this path . I didn't dare to reply your msn message , i don't know how to seriously . I shall not reply . Although i'm down , i'll still force myself to study for Nlevels . But others , let it be what i want . I totally have no appetite . One meal a days , cigg is running out also . I'm not having any good sleep either . One sentance to eleborate my dones , I DESERVE ALL THIS . Alright , i'm going dota now . I'm not going to sleep tonight , or maybe not so early . Tmr , i'll try my best to go school . If not , i should be finding places to go . Bye people , i'll post tmr . :') 当你放开了手,离开的时候. 有没有一点舍不得我? 我是真的,舍不得你走..

i don't know why do i felt so down &Sad still.

Sigh, can anyone tell me what to do?

I am still asking myself, do i still love you?

Every single thing makes me remind of you..

Really, i don't know how? :'(

But you're fine now, i don't wish to go disturb you.

I find myself funneh, let go the love one. I still love..

But, i guess this is me. I'm someone couldn't treasure things..

I'll rather let go, then risk to try. I'm selfish, sorry.

All i wanted is you to be happy like before, goodbye. :')